Anthony I know when communicating online to fellow classmates or any audience can be difficult at times. We all stumble sometimes in this area. I would like to share my thoughts on how I think you could improve.
1. First I think you should take some time and think about what you are going to say, maybe write some notes on pointers you want to get across, it is important to use inclusive language when communicating in class forums. I believe communicating on line has a code of conduct that should be followed by all. The language we use is often used to get one’s point across and it sets your tone and how your audience will perceive what you have written. If you fail to differentiate and just pitch your lesson at the average pupil others may feel left out and get bored. You want to try to always put something in for all sectors of your audience.
2. Next I would be careful to avoid language that is exclusive to one group. No racism, sexism or anything that degrades another person. Try to use language that is inclusive, nonsexist, or ‘gender neutral’. Then visualize the other classmates (male/female).
For example: when sharing your thoughts from your company conference you should say something like: I would like to share some pointers I took away from a guest speaker that did a presentation on etiquette. I thought the presentation would be boring and I would not get anything from it, but believe it or not I was surprised on some of the good pointers the speaker had left me thinking about. So I though I would try some at our company picnic, we were going to have later that month where I knew all of the managers, top executives and their families would be attending.
Another line you wrote was (I recommend that any man who wants to advance) you should of said any employee or even any coworker.
3. Last I would suggest write your Discussion Question then record it...