I feel like a big part of me is missing when I don’t talk to him. Like something is terribly wrong. Which it is. Its not right when the two of us don’t talk. And I can tell that it is hard on him too. We rely on each other for so much. In a way, he is like my best friend. I’ve never told anyone how I truly feel about Charlie. The truth is, I think I’m falling in love with him. I cant help it. Its just the little things he says and does.
Harlow would fry me alive if she knew I liked Charlie. She already gets in a strop with me when I tell her that we made up after our one night fight we each other. She doesn’t understand how I can forgive him so easily but not her. Jealousy. I know that her and Olwen talk about me on their walks home from school. How much my mood changes when me and him are not talking. We always make up though, and generally in a very short space of time.
I find it extremely hard to be angry with him for a long time. The longest time I’ve managed was two days. Those two days killed me, physically and emotionally. I can tell that everyone around me fed up with me being constantly zoned out, thinking about him, and are praying that we will make up soon enough, but secretly wishing that he would never forgive me and that I would be forced to forget about him and move on with my life. Truth is, I know that wont happen. Everyone can tell he cares so much about me. I often wondered if he gets slagged about it in school. That is, if he has told anyone about me.