After reading paragraphs one and two, I found the second paragraph was more effective. The author of the first paragraph did not use much sentence variety. The paragraph seemed to have short and choppy sentences. The paragraph did not make much sense because of this. Even though I understood the meaning for writing this paragraph and the point that the writer was trying to get across I did not find myself wanting to read the paragraph. In the second paragraph I found that the writer used better sentence variety and rhythm. However I did not find my self drawn to this paragraph either. I found this paragraph to be long, boring, and drawn out. I had a much easier time understanding the second paragraph but, I did not like it any more than I did the first one.
I have submitted my paragraph to The Center of Writing Excellence’s Write Point. I must admit that the results that Write Point sent back to me I did not find very useful for my paragraph. Normally I find the results useful however, the program did not offer very much insight on ways to fix or improve my paragraph. When I wrote the words “ the author of this paragraph” write point said that if I was referring to myself that I should not refer to myself in a third person point of view. The two things that I found to be useful were when write point said to make sure I did not use a coma after the word of the sentence unless it precedes a parenthetical phrase. Write Point also informed me that the words “ any and more” when written with a space between the two words means “additional amount” and when the words are written together it means “now”. This was one thing that I did not know.
My strategy for using Write Point in the future is to use it more often and try to understand why they made each correction. When I am using Write Point in the future I plan to make sure that I submit every paper that I need corrected in...