Enduring Love
Arguments
Clarissa and Joe’s gradual descent into conflict, in Chapter 9, stems from their lack of understanding or communication with each other about their emotions and ‘different mental universes.’ Joe is described as ‘conversationally deaf and blind,’ only able to focus on his own issues and needs and ignores Clarissa’s silent cry for ‘looking after.’ This is quite a convincing origin of an argument and in many relationships, when one partner feels neglected or ignored by the other it can cause hostility and the deteriorating of happiness and love. Similarly, in Chapter 10, Jed misreads the communication and Joe is unable to understand his passion and obsession with him, causing the conflict.
Joe and Jed both are depicted as unreasonable and mad with their onslaught of passion and ‘talking at’ their opponent instead of listening and working through their issues rationally. This is somewhat realistic, as when people are fixated with one idea, it is hard for them to understand how another person can’t see it from there point of view, making them angry when they don’t seem to get the other person to agree with them. When Joe assumes that Clarissa understands his ravings, it causes Clarissa to become quite agitated and frustrated as she fears that ‘rational Joe’ is slowly disappearing and is being replaced by a ‘wild’ and ‘crazy’ man. This element of fear is also in Joe when he has to listen to Jed’s questions and hysteria ‘at a screech,’ however instead this fear subsides into pity and ‘almost sorry’ feeling.
Clarissa and Joe’s argument, however, is very polite –the rules of engagement still prevailing. They barely ever cut each other off and they each hear each other’s point out, which doesn’t tend to happen in a realistic argument. Passion and desire to get your opinion in takes over most people in an argument, causing them to cut off or speak over their opponent, however Joe and Clarissa both digest and dissect every word the other says...