Funeral

Because of modern advances in science I do not expect to kick the bucket anytime soon, but in the unlikely event that I do I have decided to become cremated.   My choice to being burn to a pile of ashes is inspired by the discomforting idea of my body rotting in a box in the ground.   While looking into funeral homes in my area I have figured the cost to be around $700.   Included in this price is: temporarily storing my body, cremating me, and taking care of everything in between such as a death certificate.   Once cremated I would rather not be buried or have my ashes spread instead I would like to be placed on a southern California beach where I could enjoy the nice weather.   At this point the method of storing my ashes makes no difference to me but I did find a nice urn called The Lucia Titanium Cremation Urn on sale from $4,899.00 to $4,654.05.
For my funeral I would like for my friends and family to celebrate the good times they had with me.   I would like to spend the money I made throughout my life to treat my guest to a lobster and steak dinner.   The dinner will be before anyone speaks to ensure my guests are satisfied and in a good mood.  
I would like for my family to have my body cremated at a location close to my home so that by body doesn’t need to be transported far.   My body will be put in a leak proof container and burnt at a temperature between 1,400 and 1,800 degrees.   This will leave me as a pile of ash and bones which will then be placed in my container.     Before my cremation the proper paper work must be completed and filed for around $500.   For the actual cremation the cheapest I can find in a location close to my home is just under $900.   For my body I would like to be dressed in my best suit, shoes and a fur coat.   Other than clothing the only item I would like to be cremated with is my watch.
Because of the troubles corporations put on families I would to be handled by a private funeral home.   It is important to me to not be a burden to my...