I Wasn't a Mistake After All

I Wasn't a Mistake After All
I somehow ended up going to her house that night.  That car ride there changed my life.  She asked me why I fell victim to everything that happened in my life and I had no legitimate answer.  “I messed up by having you so young.  But Tatiana you turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I can be an actual mother to your sister.  I’m sorry for what you thought was me giving up on you.  I was doing what seemed best for you. I love you with everything inside of me, you are my hero.”
It used to be just us two.  We went from one of her friends house, to her car for some time, to her grandfathers house in New York, to our one bedroom apartment in the inner city.  It took a lot of work for her to get us to this old beat up apartment, but I didn’t know the true measure of that work.  She always worked long hours so until I was old enough to stay home alone I was dropped off at my neighbors house on a daily basis.  Ms. Wanda had the biggest heart around town.  She fostered children that weren't as fortunate as me; Or that’s what they told me.  From my three year old eyes, those kids had more toys, clothes and even more food than I did so I didn’t quite see how I was more fortunate.  What they didn’t have was a true mother’s love.  It took me a while to realize what that actually was.   As a child I didn’t see the difference between my mom and all the other moms, but I did notice the look people gave her when she introduced herself as my mother.
Ten dreadful years and I went from a happy little girl to a miserable teen. The arguments quickly took a turn for the worst.  I was 15 when my dad got tired of seeing me in pain.  He called my mother and told her I shouldn't be living with her any longer.  There was silence on the phone, but I was sure the whole world could hear my heart beating out of my chest.  She took a breath and the following words tore me to pieces.  “Take her then, and don’t call my phone asking for...