through a long and intensive process of changes and healing in the couple, and the only way it
will be successful is if the couple is willing to go through that process. According to a writer, for
Peace and Healing, “Effective communication is something that can be taught. It is also some-
thing that should come from the heart. If there is truly love left in a relationship, it should come
much easier, especially if both individuals are committed to working on the marriage. Determin-
ing whether or not mediation would be helpful depends on the degree of hurt in that relationship,
forms that there has to be a real commitment between the couple for the marriage to be success-
ful. They both have to be willing to put forth the same amount of energy and effort towards the
restoration of communication in their marriage. For instance, imagine a couple that for 18 years
of their marriage have always had problems communicating with themselves. There has been a
lot of accumulation of feelings and hurt in this marriage. The first key for this marriage to suc-
ceed is for the couple to commit to each other, and understand that the restoration will be a slow
process. According to Diana Hagee, the author of What a Woman wants in a Man, “Comm-
nication between men and women, I conclude that is both: a blessing for the woman and a tor-
ment for the man. It doesn’t have to be this way. When seen through the eyes of love, commu-
nication is the lifeline for any marriage” (95). This statement proves that without communication
it’s impossible for a marriage to survive in times of crisis.
When a marriage has a lack of communication, the spouses tend to speak their problems
to friends and family members. They do not feel the confidence and trust to open up with their
spouse. Fear is a big factor in this lack of communication: fear to what the other spouse will
think about them or fear to be harshly judged when it’s related to a...