Mrs Invisible
- Submitted by: Spikes100
- Views: 252
- Category: English: Creative Writing
- Date Submitted: 04/22/2014 05:17 PM
- Pages: 3
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Five pages a day. That's what Ray said. Five pages a day and you'll have a hundred and eighty pages by the end of the month. Don't worry about getting it right, just right it all down. All the facts. Once you have then, then you can put them into some semblance of order. So that's how this finally began . . .
If an alien landed and asked me where I came from instead of replying England, a more truthful answer would be from a land between the sliding doors. My life has been made up of random choices taken at pivotal moments, not consciously narcissistic but almost always without due care and attention. I see friends with career paths deeply trodden and familiar, stepped off momentarily or permanently in persuit of family life. Sensible lives, dependable lives.
For better or worse, those rational, well considered life choices never were part of the bedrock of my life. And not simply because I was in active drug addiction for almost thirty years. Even now, 12 years clean and sober I still yearn for and actively seek that nirvana, that little piece of heaven on earth where my spirit can experience the same warmth that tropical living gives my body.
Seeing it written down helps me understand why I make the decisions I do; it doesn't mean it's the right choice or even the right reason, but it's a starting point for me to begin to understand why I act the way I do.
And the move to Barbados was just such a decision. It was the money I'd managed to retrieve from Oscar - via Daniel - that was sufficient reason to 'treat' myself. Others might celebrate with drinks, a good night out with friends. Me? I choose a holiday in Barbados. Day one we spent on the beach and night one discovering the biting ability of the mosquito population on the south coast. Day two; again the beach and that evening, a popular night spot, Harbour Lights complete with gorgeous looking beach bums and a taste of the Islands' cocaine. Now, I was already in trouble with that Colombian...
If an alien landed and asked me where I came from instead of replying England, a more truthful answer would be from a land between the sliding doors. My life has been made up of random choices taken at pivotal moments, not consciously narcissistic but almost always without due care and attention. I see friends with career paths deeply trodden and familiar, stepped off momentarily or permanently in persuit of family life. Sensible lives, dependable lives.
For better or worse, those rational, well considered life choices never were part of the bedrock of my life. And not simply because I was in active drug addiction for almost thirty years. Even now, 12 years clean and sober I still yearn for and actively seek that nirvana, that little piece of heaven on earth where my spirit can experience the same warmth that tropical living gives my body.
Seeing it written down helps me understand why I make the decisions I do; it doesn't mean it's the right choice or even the right reason, but it's a starting point for me to begin to understand why I act the way I do.
And the move to Barbados was just such a decision. It was the money I'd managed to retrieve from Oscar - via Daniel - that was sufficient reason to 'treat' myself. Others might celebrate with drinks, a good night out with friends. Me? I choose a holiday in Barbados. Day one we spent on the beach and night one discovering the biting ability of the mosquito population on the south coast. Day two; again the beach and that evening, a popular night spot, Harbour Lights complete with gorgeous looking beach bums and a taste of the Islands' cocaine. Now, I was already in trouble with that Colombian...