Sometimes death can bring new life.The juxtaposition of the loss of my grandmother, the downward spiral into depression and the birth of my son are the clearest pivotal moments in my life. Having lost someone that I loved so much changed my outlook on living. I became someone my family didn't recognize, and it wasn't until the birth of my son that I realized that I had been in a depression for three years.
I was about 16 years old when my life changed forever. My grandmother died from stroke complications and life as I knew it was different. My grandmother was more like a mother to me than a grandmother. She raised me, practically, from birth. She taught me how to prey, how to cook and how to be accountable for my actions. She would always tell me, “ Start your day with a prayer and God will follow you throughout, but start your day with selfish thoughts and your days will be short.” Most of what I have learned in life I owe to the wisdom of both my paternal grandmother and grandfather. They both provided me with opportunities to travel, be a musician, a minister, a chef, and even a councilor to my peers. They felt it was important that I be well rounded in all things so I was never limited by my imagination. With the wisdom of two times my generation I had history teachers at my disposal.
The relationship between my grandmother and I was one very similar to best friends. She was my emotional support system and my spiritual guidance councilor, always using the bible to shape decision and actions. She helped mold me into a youth pastor and guidance councilor to my peers. Always saying, “God gave us the tools to live and we must help our fellow bretheren.” She taught me how to be a respectable young lady, with a mind of my own. She showed me how to carry my self and how to speak up for what's right and for things that I believe in. She influenced me to be an individual and to lead instead of follow. But when she died it felt like all she taught me died with her....