Power of Silence
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- Date Submitted: 05/20/2013 07:15 AM
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THE POWER OF SILENCE - Jef Nance CFE
In Conquering Deception© I told you how to use silence as a weapon...... because it’s the least known, most overlooked and easiest tool you can use
in any conversation.
Silence is awkward............... People dislike it................
And if you understand the psychological effect of silence on us all and learn to master it, you can intentionally use it to guide the conversation, even gain more information from the person you’re conversing with.
Rule 1: The person who is most uncomfortable with silence will always break it.
........they will usually say something: 1 - Stupid or 2 - Revealing
People often stop themselves, just before speaking the thoughts they want to protect most. And we often help them by interjecting our own comments, ideas, or experiences. When you sense there’s more they could say, don’t speak; remain silent; allow the discomfort of silence to draw more out of them.
While it might seem logical that the person who speaks most in a conversation is the one who controls it, first logic is often wrong. When we speak, we reveal ourselves. So instead of filling silence with words, allow it to hang. The other person will speak if you don’t, and they’ll likely say something of interest to you.
Rule 2: He who is most comfortable with silence always commands the conversation.
Now, Obama didn’t intentionally use silence here, and it’s obvious he wasn’t comfortable with it; but it was extraordinarily powerful nonetheless, wasn’t it?
Like any other weapon, the impact of silence is dependent upon which side of it you happen to be. A gun can be in your hand, or pointed at you. It’s powerful either way—an asset to one person, a detriment to the other.
Consider this: Could Barak Obama have said anything in that 1 minute and 15 seconds that would have been more spellbinding than his silence?
Jef Nance, CFE : web-blog www.deceptionsecrets.com
Jeff Nance book :...
In Conquering Deception© I told you how to use silence as a weapon...... because it’s the least known, most overlooked and easiest tool you can use
in any conversation.
Silence is awkward............... People dislike it................
And if you understand the psychological effect of silence on us all and learn to master it, you can intentionally use it to guide the conversation, even gain more information from the person you’re conversing with.
Rule 1: The person who is most uncomfortable with silence will always break it.
........they will usually say something: 1 - Stupid or 2 - Revealing
People often stop themselves, just before speaking the thoughts they want to protect most. And we often help them by interjecting our own comments, ideas, or experiences. When you sense there’s more they could say, don’t speak; remain silent; allow the discomfort of silence to draw more out of them.
While it might seem logical that the person who speaks most in a conversation is the one who controls it, first logic is often wrong. When we speak, we reveal ourselves. So instead of filling silence with words, allow it to hang. The other person will speak if you don’t, and they’ll likely say something of interest to you.
Rule 2: He who is most comfortable with silence always commands the conversation.
Now, Obama didn’t intentionally use silence here, and it’s obvious he wasn’t comfortable with it; but it was extraordinarily powerful nonetheless, wasn’t it?
Like any other weapon, the impact of silence is dependent upon which side of it you happen to be. A gun can be in your hand, or pointed at you. It’s powerful either way—an asset to one person, a detriment to the other.
Consider this: Could Barak Obama have said anything in that 1 minute and 15 seconds that would have been more spellbinding than his silence?
Jef Nance, CFE : web-blog www.deceptionsecrets.com
Jeff Nance book :...