Riordan Memo Evaluation
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- Category: English
- Date Submitted: 09/14/2013 01:19 PM
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Memo Evaluation
ENG/221
July 15, 2013
Memo Evaluation
HR Integration Project Manager Memo
In the HR Integration Project Manager Memo, the Chief Operations Officer (COO), Hugh McCauley is writing to the HR Integration Project Manager. While I found most of the memo to be satisfactory, some basic criteria are missing.
Organization
Although the memo begins with an introduction, it does not appear that the discussion follows. The next paragraph reads more like the writer is concluding the memo: “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.” This sentence should move to the end of the memo.
Clarity
The header labels of “To,” “From,” “Date,” and “Subject” (the term “Re” is used instead meaning reference) are listed. However, McCauley has written the subject as “HR Integration Project Approval,” which could be misleading to mean overall approval. The use of the word approval contradicts with this statement found within the body of the memo: “Before I proceed with approval of the project funding…” Shortening the subject line to “HR Integration Project” would be a better descriptor of what the memo is about.
McHauley also refers to a date that he would like the project to be completed as “approximately six months.” This is unclear and is open to interpretation by his audience. Using an exact due date would have been preferable.
Tone
Because McCauley is the COO of Riordan Manufacturing, Inc., and his role is superior to that of the HR Integration Project Manager’s, the tone of the memo is formal. But he does a good job of making the project feel like a team effort with his sentence, “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.”
Writing Style
McCauley states that he will need a detailed project plan. He goes on to list the requirements of the plan within a sentence which could result...
ENG/221
July 15, 2013
Memo Evaluation
HR Integration Project Manager Memo
In the HR Integration Project Manager Memo, the Chief Operations Officer (COO), Hugh McCauley is writing to the HR Integration Project Manager. While I found most of the memo to be satisfactory, some basic criteria are missing.
Organization
Although the memo begins with an introduction, it does not appear that the discussion follows. The next paragraph reads more like the writer is concluding the memo: “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.” This sentence should move to the end of the memo.
Clarity
The header labels of “To,” “From,” “Date,” and “Subject” (the term “Re” is used instead meaning reference) are listed. However, McCauley has written the subject as “HR Integration Project Approval,” which could be misleading to mean overall approval. The use of the word approval contradicts with this statement found within the body of the memo: “Before I proceed with approval of the project funding…” Shortening the subject line to “HR Integration Project” would be a better descriptor of what the memo is about.
McHauley also refers to a date that he would like the project to be completed as “approximately six months.” This is unclear and is open to interpretation by his audience. Using an exact due date would have been preferable.
Tone
Because McCauley is the COO of Riordan Manufacturing, Inc., and his role is superior to that of the HR Integration Project Manager’s, the tone of the memo is formal. But he does a good job of making the project feel like a team effort with his sentence, “I look forward to moving our organization ahead with more state-of-the-art technology in our Human Resources Department.”
Writing Style
McCauley states that he will need a detailed project plan. He goes on to list the requirements of the plan within a sentence which could result...