Satirical Essay

The loud crack of thunder startled Officer Hollowpoint awake.   He slowly rolled over, and opened one sleepy eye as he gazed out the window at the thrashing trees and pellets of rain.   “Another great day on the job!” he thought, as he slowly climbed out of his bed and stumbled to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, anxious to get out the door early so he could stop by Shipley’s before heading to his domain. Officer Hollowpoint   had the unique charge of supervising the stop sign at the corner of Main street and Flower Avenue.   He took his job seriously, knowing that what happened at his stop sign could impact the entire town, probably the world. Today however, was a special day. Officer Hollowpoint loved rainy days because of the many extra chances he gets to catch filthy law-breakers.   As he dressed in his law enforcement uniform, strapping on his wide black belt, complete with his two whistles, he thought of all the reasons he loved rainy days.   Primarily, it was because traffic was always congested, making everyone late.   When people were late they tended to roll through HIS stop sign and anything less than a complete stop for three seconds was a cause for action.   Officer Hollowpoint loved hearing all the excuses; everything from kids late for school, I have an appointment, to my wife is in labor.   What these people seemed to forget, was they were supposed to stop. Period. Driving is dangerous enough as it is, and people driving carelessly on slick roads is like finding gold to Officer Hollowpoint   Like the time last week, when the fire truck blasted right through the intersection, sirens blaring, not even a tap on their brakes. It took nearly an hour to chase them down, and despite their protestations, they were issued a citation and a lecture on safety by the officer. Today however, little did Officer Hollowpoint know that he would be writing the ticket of the year. He pulled up in his normal spot near the dumpster down Flower Avenue, and was just biting into a...