Dick’s guide to modern dating
Shh, can you hear that, yes, yes, that’s the sound of swinging dick. Today’s entry is about just that, entry… into the world dating! Tough though it may be chaps it doesn’t have to be quite the rigmarole that you might think. I’ve seen many a daring sexcapade in my day but my most recent mastery came in the form on online dating, so I’d like to take the time to App-reciate, oh I am a clever one, where the most profitable cyber splendors lay waiting.
Numero uno is Tinder and it’s an App-solute classic, HA! This magnificent little pocket cupid is just picture-perfect for the dandy on the move and allows for complete secrecy, something Dick does most definitely enjoy. Swipe left for an anonymous no or right for an ooo, yes please. It’s been matching swanky swingers for near three years and in case you’re wondering, Dick’s always going right, carpe diem you dashing dandies!
You’ll find gobs of the gorgeous on grouper and what’s more it matches you with friends of a friend, menage a trois, anyone? No, you behave, I felt it was plenty App-ropriate, Dick’s on fire! I’ll get that checked. Not only does this mean you can rattle your fellow man for material it also means that awkward stage has been completely eliminated and you already have something for your most passionate tête-à-tête, over a pleasant little martini or six.
The Dutch gave us courage and the internet gave us Hinge. An app aimed at those who long for a more thoughtful rapport with the long term loving in mind, wonderful for some but I say, Dick never goes that deep. Hinge limits the amount of selections you can make in a sitting meaning that the beauties you do see fit to betroth are thoroughly thought out. It may be an App-alling thought, I’m frighteningly bloody good at this boys, to look into the future so soon but if you get the inkling you know where to venture.
So there it is, a trio of the best virtual hunting grounds. Lay in bed, relax, tap, touch, flick and...