The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse

The Ultimate All-Purpose Excuse
“Sorry I’m late, but I can explain! I had just woken up when a giant robot, a thousand times bigger than a Transformer appeared on my lawn. He was telling me about the ninjas on the moon and how they were about to take over the world with a secret weapon called the “Dishwasher” and I was the only one that could save the world. So I got into the robot and to find out that the pilot was a purple penguin named Jerry that led the robot army of Saturn. We flew at 30 times the speed of light and got to the moon yesterday, but they had set all the walking trees on fire. So Jerry got out his giant drill from the robot and found an underground city, we also found the Beatles, but that’s not important. Then Jerry called all his magical elephants, and they used the water to put out all the walking trees. But as soon as we got done, we saw the ninjas. Turns out the ninjas were donkey riding two-headed badgers, who would have figured right? Anyways, they used a bomb and threw it at the robot, since that was Jerry’s weakness.   But the ninjas were too late; Jerry had already ejected his seat and landed in a pudding filled crater. He told me that their only weakness is Jell-O, and all the Jell-O was kept in the castle of the Moon King, which was being held hostage by the ninjas. So while the elephants were holding the ninjas back, we ran to the castle. When we got there we saw that king was tied up with Christmas lights, surrounded by donkey ninjas. It was weird, because as soon as they saw me, they exploded into glitter and lollipops. Jerry told me, it was because of the penguins on my pants. Anyways, after we rescued the king, we loaded the cannons with Jell-O and fired them at the ninjas causing them to turn into Cheetos. And boy, they were good. The elephants chased away the two-headed badgers and the world was finally saved. I even helped destroy the ninja’s secret weapon, which turned out to be a giant dishwasher. The moon king was so happy...