Trapped Between the Window Panes

She drives me insane her constant air of confidence, buzzing around me, she doesn’t have a clue what is going through my head or even how I ended up in this place. Every day she comes flying in just as bubbly as the day before (if thats even possible). She is mentally draining, irritating almost. Don’t get me wrong she endeavours to make an effort each day and I know I should do the same but it is so difficult. I wonder how I will ever fit in and be able to relate to her. To even care about the usual fluctuations of her day to day life.

I find myself looking through her. Mute. How could she ever understand me, or even comprehend what I have been through? The thought of having to explain it to someone like her, and therefore relive the event, is a devastating thought. However, bravely trusting someone with my dark past will have to come soon for fear the clutches of insanity will grip me first.  

This place is constantly buzzing around me, as if I am the eye of a cyclone. The world just seems to spin and whirl as I try stand on unsteady ground. I work for an Advertising agency within the heart of Sydney. This place runs on adrenaline and organised mayhem. Everyone is constantly busy and full of energy. The mask I wear serves me well; it both protects me and fools my unwitting colleagues. Exhaustedly, I act interested, participate and attempt communication.

All she ever talks about is her perfect marriage and her perfect child, her perfect world.. Today it seems as if her world is falling apart. Her ‘perfect little boy’ wasn’t feeling the best today, he has the flu, therefore she had to call the nanny in early. She had to limit her   chance of getting ill. Just listening to this women talk was suffocating me. The air was thinning and I was fighting a desperate urge to run. If she only knew I would give anything to hold my own child in my arms just for a second or even   to see his peaceful face as he drifts off into a beautiful dream. As for the “perfect...