Who Am I? and Why Are You so Different?

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CREATIVE WRITING - The FIVE BEST ESSAYS
by eva puntel
Nov 25, 2011
LGH   BEST ESSAY
by
Lea Frauenknecht
Who am I? And why are you so different?
In fact, I am a nobody. A piece of dirt. Compared to the world's population of six billion I'm a nobody. Compared to people like Barack Obama and Mahatma Gandhi I don't matter. But in my own small world, I try to matter. I try to be someone you recognize. Somebody happy. Somehow me.
I was different from the very beginning. I was born nine weeks earlier than they expected, but I survived and now I am a healthy person. I am an only child. Both my parents started to work again when I was three years old, so I was on my own more often than the other children, which was not bad at all. So I had to entertain myself. I grew up differently. When I was happy, I always sang songs nobody knew because I made them up in my mind. I have experiences nobody can share with me. Nobody grew up like I did. I grew up differently.
I still am. Different, I mean. I have all those pictures in my head, almost my whole life. Everything I see is like a picture stream in my head. I can see pictures of my first day at school and I can exactly remember the way the sun rays went through the windows of the classroom and illuminated my classmates' heads. I see a long road in the desert, it's already sundown – my first visit in New Mexico, USA, when I was six years old. I think I can keep those pictures better than other people. Other people forget those little details. I don't. I like to watch the people in the underground and try to imagine their life. Others wouldn't even realise them. I can look at a dirty wall or an uneven stone and suddenly I see faces or animals in those patterns of nature, although they are not really there. Other people would call me insane if I'd tell them what I see. And what I see becomes stuck as a picture in my head.
I am so different because the pictures in my head get so many and sometimes I have the feeling...